Taking Inventory

I love my life.

My life is far from perfect, but I love my life. 

Would I change anything about it? I can't say that I would. 

Honestly.

The problems we have here in the US are far different than the problems had in the rest of the world. In comparison, they seem trite and insignificant, especially now, while we helplessly watch the news of the Russian invasion of Ukraine which began four days ago. Yet a war anywhere in the world is a threat of war everywhere in the world.

But peace may be had even in the middle of war when the Lord is your Savior. Easier said than done as I'm sitting in the comfort of my home.

A psalm for the peacemakers in Russia and Ukraine from the Bible, our hearts and prayers are with you.

Psalm 27 (NLT)

A psalm of David.

The Lord is my light and my salvation-

so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident.

The one thing I ask of the Lord-
the thing I seek most-
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.

Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.

Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

The Guilt Trip and the Comparison Trap

My husband and I were invited to lunch the other day by a family who seemed to have it all together. Their house was nicely in order, the table was set and even their adolescent children were sitting with us at the table. I began thinking, have my kids ever eaten at the table with us?

Then I noticed how close she seemed to be with her children. I asked her how she developed such a tight-knit relationship with them. Innocently, she made a statement about how she engaged her kids when they were growing up. Little did she know, that statement would put me into a tailspin for the rest of the day.

When we got home from lunch, I told my husband how I felt I did a terrible job mothering our kids. I compared my family to this family and accused myself of not engaging my children enough while they were growing up. I even texted my friend and asked her in what ways she engaged her children, so I could learn from her. Nothing wrong with that. But I condemned myself.

Because we know this family and some of the things they are working through, my very wise husband said to me, "People can look like they have it all together but it doesn't mean they do."

I then realized I allowed the accuser, the liar, and the thief to steal the peace that was mine, moments before, just because of a simple statement made by a friend. Then I thought of the way God must have seen me while I raised my children; innocent and pure because I am in Jesus. I did the best I could with what I knew at the time to do.

So I can relax. I'm not guilty of being a bad parent. That was just me judging myself. And I called it what it was: self-condemnation. I participated in the comparison trap, too. The self-imposed guilt trip that measures my life against someone else's where somebody always comes up short; another lie I choose not to believe manufactured by the accuser himself.

But instead, I have the Prince of Peace (Isa 9:6) who reminds me that God has given each of us different gifts for doing certain things well (Rom 12:6). (So why do I compare myself to others?). He will fulfill his purpose for me (Ps 138:8). He is for me (Rom 8:31), ruling in my heart and mind (Col 3:15), reminding me of truth and grace in my life (Jn 1:14).

When we got home, I googled the word, 'engage.' It said, greatly mindful and committed to the interests of another; actively involved in another's activities. I realized I have engaged my sons while they were growing up, in my own special way.

I'm always up for learning new ways to engage my sons. Currently, I'm planning a vacation where my whole family can meet somewhere in the middle of the country and rent a place together for a week. It's challenging to find somewhere to go that we all agree on and during a time of year when we all have off but it's not impossible. With God everything is possible.

The ways I'm engaging my sons at this stage in life? I call my son, Zach, who lives out in CA regularly. I go to my youngest son, Hunter's basketball games, and take him to lunch afterward. With my middle son, Harry, we have weekly family times and we invite his girlfriend, Cailyn, to join us. We take turns ordering from different fast-food restaurants according to who is having a hankering for what type of food. We laugh and have fun.

We will have family night tonight and Cailyn wants Chinese! So Chinese it is! It's here where we sit back, relax, and enjoy each other's company in a safe and supportive environment with gratitude in our hearts for all that God has given us.